Remuda Ranch Eating Disorders Treatment Programs

Type I diabetes and an https://www.remudaranch.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">eating disorder can be the worst possible combination. While most people with bulimia purge through vomiting or excessive exercise; someone with diabulimia purges by under-dosing insulin, which causes sugar to be eliminated from her body through urine reducing their caloric intake.

 

In the last 10 years, this dangerous new trend of manipulating insulin doses to lose weight has emerged among women with diabetes and eating disorders. Several studies have come to the conclusion that women with type 1 diabetes are twice as likely to be diagnosed with an eating disorder as their non-diabetic peers. (Although diabulimia is more common among women, men with type1 diabetes can and do struggle with it as well.)

 

Living with type 1 diabetes is not easy. Sometimes insulin manipulation and other behaviors that indicate the person is struggling with an eating disorder start out as small acts of rebellion, but can escalate over time into an overwhelming cycle of eating disordered thoughts and symptoms.

 

For some people, the necessary emphasis on food and dietary restraint associated with the management of type 1 diabetes can create an unhealthy focus on food, numbers, and control. The psychological and emotional effects of having to manage a chronic medical condition such as type 1 diabetes can also play a role in developing the dual diagnosis of an eating disorder. Depression, anxiety and poor body image are also common co-occurring conditions.

The Dangers of Manipulating Insulin Dosages

 

Manipulating insulin dosages isn't healthy and can be deadly. When an eating disorder accompanies type 1 diabetes, the mortality rate climbs to nearly 35 percent.

 

In addition to the increased risk of death, there is also an increase in the escalation of medical complications from diabetes such as vision loss and kidney failure. The health issues that a diabetic might typically expect to experience in 30 years can begin to occur within five or seven years if she is abusing insulin and exhibiting disordered eating behaviors.

 

For example, if a type I diabetic begins insulin manipulation at the age of 17, she could become totally blind, begin suffering from extreme nerve pain or need to be on a kidney transplant list by her mid-20s. Her ability to have children may be permanently compromised as well.

Signs of Insulin Abuse

 

If you are a parent, spouse, or family member of a diabetic, and you think believe she may be manipulating her insulin dosages to lose or maintain her body weight, it’s important to take action. The earlier you get seek help, the greater the possibility for a positive outcome. Here are some of the signs of insulin abuse:

 

The person seems dehydrated, tired and irritable.

The person’s insulin supply seems to be lasting them longer than expected. They purchase fewer bottles than usual.

The blood sugar log on their glucometer shows that they have not been maintaining healthy levels.

You might also encourage your loved one to go to their doctor for a Hemoglobin A1C test.

 

Share your concerns about their possible eating disorder with the doctor, if you can.

Get Help for Diabulimia

 

The complications from diabulimia and other disordered behaviors are very serious. Those who struggle with type 1 diabetes along with anorexia or bulimia can experience recovery with the right medical and psychological interventions. At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, our expert team of doctors and therapists can develop a personalized inpatient treatment program to help women and adolescent girls learn to control their diabetes while recovering from an eating disorder. We also offer the Remuda Ranch Eating Recovery Intensive Outpatient Program for both men and women at The Meadows Outpatient Center. Call today for more information: 866-330-1456.

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A Letter to The Person You Were Before https://www.remudaranch.com/blog/item/200-what-i-wish-i-had-known-then" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Eating Disorder Recovery

 

Many women who have achieved long-term eating disorder recovery tell us that Remuda Ranch at The Meadows was the first place where they truly began their transformation.

They often say that even though they had tried inpatient treatment many times before, only to relapse, something about Remuda Ranch helped them to finally see their eating disorders for what they were—maladaptive strategies for coping with anxiety and emotional trauma. They understood, at last, how to separate the symptoms of disorder from their self-worth and find their authentic selves.

 

Some even say that when they finally reach that point it feels like they’ve become a different person— although, in truth, the truth is their essential self was there all along.

 

Write Yourself a Letter, Then Send It to Us

We often hear from women who have embraced living daily in their eating disorder recovery; they say that they want to help others who are actively struggling with the dangerous consequences of anorexia and bulimia in any way they can.

 

At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, we believe that one of the most effective ways to help others is to reach out and share your own story. By sharing your personal experience and strength you can help others find the courage to get treatment and give them hope for the future. Plus, by being of service to others with eating disorders you stay engaged in your own recovery.

 

If you are currently in recovery, think back to what your life was like, and what you were like, before treatment.

 

If you could go back and offer your former self some words of encouragement or some advice, what would you say? What would you want the you who was in so much pain to know about what the future after treatment would look like? How would you convince yourself that getting helping and maintaining recovery are worth the struggle?

 

Get a Remuda Ranch at The Meadows Picnic Blanket!

Write a 500 – 1500 word letter to your former self, and send it to Andrea Sauceda, [email protected] along with a picture of yourself (picture is optional, but would be appreciated!) If you are one of the first 25 entries, and we publish your letter on the Remuda Ranch at The Meadows website, we’ll send you a free picnic blanket! We can’t wait to read the wisdom you gained through your hard-won battles with disordered eating. Sharing your story can truly make a difference.

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By Deirdre Stewart, The Meadows Director of Trauma Resolution Services

 

The Brain Center at Remuda Ranch at The Meadows opened less than a month ago. It sits high above and looks out onto the gorgeous Sonoran Desert. Its beautiful views and natural, peaceful setting provide an optimal environment for healing, restoration, quieting of the nervous system, and finding a connection back to the self.

 

The cutting-edge devices used in the Brain Center support women in getting more in tune with how they feel and how they react to thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Not only are patients thoroughly enjoying the serene, beautiful, and peaceful setting, they are also sensing positive changes in mood, energy, clarity, and sleep.

Clinical Implications of The Brain Center

 

On average, Remuda Ranch patients come into The Brain Center for a one-hour session several times a week; however, many patients request more time! The great thing about Remuda’s Brain Center setting is that we are able to readily and easily accommodate this. A patient’s duration and frequency of sessions in The Brain Center can truly be custom-tailored to help patients reach their desired outcomes.

The Art of the Start

 

Prior to entering The Brain Center, patients are invited to pause and intentionally shift their attention outward, orienting and connecting to the 360-degree view through their sensate experience. They are then guided to turn their attention inward to their bodily and felt sense experience.

 

To engage their curiosity, we often begin by using Smovey Rings, a favorite of trauma expert and Meadows’ Senior Fellow Dr. Peter Levine. These handheld rings with weighted ball bearings support patients in sensing their internal rhythm. Through this exercise, we teach patients to begin to befriend their internal experience. The gentle movement allows for more energy flow in the system, where oftentimes it may be stuck or frozen.

 

The Smovey Rings also provide proprioceptive or sensory input into the joints, arms, and shoulders furthering support of autonomous nervous system regulation. This type of input lets the body know where it is in time and space, which is grounding and quieting for an overly activated person. This slow, mindful movement serves as a cue to the individual’s nervous system that down regulation is the intention as they prepare to spend their next hour in The Brain Center. The emphasis for their Brain Center session is on curiosity, engagement, and intention.

Bringing it All Together

 

Before a patient begins her session we ask her how she is feeling and make a note of it. We then ask them again what they are feeling as they leave one hour later.

 

If they say that they feel calmer, less anxious, or “better,” we support them through identifying how they know they feel better. How does their body tell them that they are “better?” How does “better” or “calmer” register physiologically? Helping each patient differentiate between various shifts in her mental and physical state supports her awareness of her body, which oftentimes as an eating disorder patient, is a part of herself she has previously disowned.

 

What patients often notice is that they feel quieter inside, which then provides their nervous system with an alternative experience fight or flight and gives it another point of reference for the next time the patient becomes activated, stressed or anxious. This is how resiliency and emotional regulation slowly begin to develop.

Key Benefits to Patients from The Brain Center

 

Most eating disorder patients are low in Alpha brainwave activity. This is the brainwave that anchors the brain and acts as its gearshift. Without enough, individuals are prone to anxiety, depression, and an inability to experience calm and relaxation. Alpha brainwave activity allows for a calm and relaxed, yet alert state, also known as presence. The brain actually craves Alpha.

 

Because alpha deficit is one of the hallmark brain markers for all types of eating disorders, the devices in The Brain Center—CES, The Muse, HRV, NFB, Chi Machine—provide multi-level brain interventions all geared to increase the prevalence of Alpha brainwave activity and trigger the natural relaxation response, which has been scientifically shown to reduce symptoms associated with stress, depression, and anxiety.

 

Additional benefits to patients include…

 

More organized and coherent breathing pattern

Greater ability to emotionally regulate

Greater ability to respond to stress

Improved cognitive functioning

Decreased Cortisol (stress hormone) levels

Increased levels of Serotonin, Dopamine, DHEA, and endorphins

Increased stabilization of neuro-hormonal system

Stronger mind/body connection through Biofeedback and Neurofeedback

Increased self-awareness

Mastery over physiology and internal reactions

Ability to gain conscious control over otherwise unconscious processes (e.g. breathing)

Greater brain’s capacity for change

Decreased amygdala activity

Increased resilience

Positive impacts to brain structure, efficiency, and function

Increased digestive support and immune function

Stronger internal organ function

 

Another salient aspect to mention is that patients engage with the devices in The Brain Center while under a weighted blanket, which has a significant grounding effect. The weight of the blanket provides the nervous system with proprioceptive sensory input, which signals to the body, “This is where you are in time and space.” This is especially beneficial for Eating Disorder patients because they are often extremely disconnected from their bodies.

Remuda Ranch Patients Love The Brain Center

 

Since Remuda Ranch has opened its own Brain Center and integrated it into its programming, patients have reported noticing positive shifts in mood, energy, clarity, and sleep.

 

One patient reported, “When I first arrived [at the Brain Center] my anxiety was very high because we had just finished snack time.” After spending some time on the Chi Machine, she said, “I was able to hear and feel my body digesting, which decreased my anxiety a lot”. The Chi Machine supports the body in oscillatory movements designed to support digestion, stimulate blood flow and balance the two branches of the nervous system. This experience invites the patient to connect to her internal process and to also begin to trust that her body will support her.

 

Patients also often report that they are…

 

“Sleeping through the night for the first time in a very long time!”

 

“Less anxious, more relaxed, calm, decreased anxiety, more perk, less obsessive thoughts.”

Scientifically-Based Care for Eating Disorders

 

Adding The Brain Center’s cutting-edge approach to the Remuda Ranch treatment program addresses the neuroscience of eating disorders by helping to better regulate the subconscious, limbic system in the brain. The increased sense of presence, embodiment, and awareness along with more organized brainwave activity and a quieter nervous system all support the women and girls to more effectively receive and integrate all other aspects of the Remuda Ranch treatment program into their recovery.

 

The Brain Center is the brainchild of the Meadows team of Senior Fellows, who are some of the industry’s most respected experts on emotional trauma, addiction, eating disorders, and behavioral health treatment. When you attend any of The Meadows programs, you can rest assured that you are getting a personalized treatment planned based on the latest scientific research and proven best practices that help patients enter into lifelong recovery.

 

For more information, call today at 866-330-1925, or send a message through our website.

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College is an exciting time for many young adults. It’s often their first chance to establish an identity entirely separate from their parents or caregivers. But, with that freedom comes a lot of social pressures. Legends of crazy parties, wild binge drinking, casual sex gets passed down from generation to generation. The idea that irresponsible drinking and sex are rights of passage for college students is also a staple of American popular culture as evidenced through popular movies like “Animal House,” “Old School,” and “Neighbors.” Many students feel pressure to both participate in party culture and to maintain a certain level of “sex appeal” in order to be socially accepted.

 

These pressures are leading many students to make dangerous trade-offs when it comes to alcohol and food. In a recent study, more than 80 percent of college students reported that they skipped meals, binged on food and purged, or used a laxative, so that they could “save calories” and binge drink without gaining weight and/or increase the effects of alcohol. These behaviors are associated with a trend called “drunkorexia.” Drunkorexia is not a medical diagnosis, but it describes the growing trend of college students sacrificing nutrition for alcohol.

The Surprising Relationship Between https://www.remudaranch.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Eating Disorders and Alcohol Abuse

 

Though not everyone who engages in food restricting and binge drinking will go on to develop an eating disorder or an alcohol addiction, they may be at higher risk. Research has shown that 50 percent of women who reported eating disorder behaviors also struggled with drug and substance use disorders. That is a rate of risk five times higher than that those without eating disorders.

 

Alcohol use disorders tend to be particularly common among people with eating disorders, because of the way they interact with one another. Alcohol can be used to help induce vomiting—especially when consumed in excess on an empty stomach—and to facilitate dehydration. Alcohol can also be used to help numb the feelings of fear and anxiety that women with eating disorders carry with them. They tend to fear both weight gain, and someone finding out about their unhealthy behaviors.

 

Even if the person exhibiting signs of drunkorexia doesn’t end up with long-term, co-occuring disorders, the behaviors in and of themselves can be dangerous. Drinking on an empty stomach allows alcohol to be absorbed into the blood stream more quickly, which increases the likelihood of alcohol poisoning, blackouts, memory loss, and alcohol-related violence. Severe cases can even lead to permanent brain damage.

Overcoming Drunkorexia Requires Dual Diagnosis Treatment

 

Treating someone who struggles with both an eating disorder and an addiction can be complex. Often patients end up in a treatment center that specializes in either the eating disorder, or the substance abuse, but not both. Since the two disorders do interact and, in some ways, depend upon one another, it’s important to find a program that can treat both disorders at the same time. If a person enters into recovery from their eating disorder but not from their alcoholism, they are much more likely to relapse. The use of the alcohol will likely trigger the impulse to purge or restrict again and interfere with their judgment when it comes to making healthy choices about food.

 

If you or a loved one needs help for both an eating disorder and substance use disorder, you’ll want a treatment center like Remuda Ranch at The Meadows that offers an integrated, multidisciplinary approach to treatment. Remuda Ranch offers medical supervision 24 hours a day, seven days a week, along with talk therapies, experiential therapies (like equine therapy and challenge courses), family programming, nutritional and culinary training, and the latest neurobehavioral techniques for treating emotional trauma.

 

For more information about Remuda Ranch at The Meadows’ inpatient, partial hospitalization, and residential treatment for women and adolescent girls, please call 866-390-6100. Our Intake Specialists are happy to answer any questions you may have and help you decide if Remuda Ranch at The Meadows is right for you.

 

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By James D. “Buck” Runyan, Remuda Ranch at the Meadows Executive Director

When a person is found to have a problem such as diabetes, there are quick reactions from family and professionals to treat the affected person with a sense of urgency. Diet, exercise, proper sleep, stress reduction and medications are all implemented within a short period of time with the hope of limiting the consequences of a poorly functioning or non-functioning pancreas.

Though the general populace, in general, knows little about diabetes, the disorder tends to acquire quick attention because people are aware it is a dangerous disorder needing immediate attention. Eating Disorders are similarly dangerous — yet the recognition of these disorders and the lack of urgency to find adequate treatment leaves those affected vulnerable to highly life altering and possibly life-threatening consequences.

A Star Athlete’s Struggle

Sara represents a common example of someone who struggles with an eating disorder. Sara was 20 years of age, a star athlete on a university scholarship, and an academic scholar with a 4.0 GPA. She had reported struggling with bulimia for more than five years. Though she did mention several of the struggles she experienced over the years, her parents dismissed the topic as being a “teenage thing.” Based upon her parents’ prior responses she went silent on the progression of the disorder as well as the severity of her symptoms; until one day a college roommate found her having fainted during a purging episode in their dorm room. This scene facilitated Sara’s entry into her first treatment.

Secrets and Shame

During the assessment phase, she revealed to the medical team she had intentionally hidden the eating disorder behavior from her family. She revealed keeping them in the dark because of their previous disbelief, her potentially having to leave college as well as possibly losing her scholarships and ultimately having to address the shame she experienced on a daily basis for her behavior. She went on to provide in great detail the secretiveness, the planning, the physical and emotional struggles of having bulimia which culminated in a deep sense of shame, episodes of self-directed anger, and times of unstoppable sobbing.

What became her solace also became her captor. Though she admittedly is a person with physical talent, keen intellect, and high potential, her emotional maturity was lacking in an age appropriate development. The lack of emotional maturity caused her severe anxiety when experiencing new social events and even kept her from developing any depth in personal relationships because she feared the rejection of others if they discovered her secret life with bulimia.

The Double Life

All eating disorders have a similar dynamic in that the sufferer not only maintains a personal secret; they protect it with an unyielding fierceness. They lead a double-life. Family and friends will often notice their loved one’s life patterns frequently exhibit dichotomies.

In one sense they present as having a focused effort to self-control or are controlling of others; having a sense of self-directedness and an unusual knack for self-destruction.

When the eating disorder becomes family and/ or public knowledge, the members often speak about having noticed a variety of odd behaviors and inconsistencies within the sufferer’s life but were neither comfortable nor free to openly hold conversations about them their observations.

The primary eating disorders that affect both men and women of all ages include Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating Disorder.

Anorexia identified most often by significant weight loss due to restrictive eating behavior. Bulimia is identified by eating a large volume of food in a short period of time and making oneself vomit to remove the consumed food products. Binge Eating is identified by eating a large volume of food in a short period of time and does not include any compensating behavior such as food restriction or self-induced vomiting.

Eating Disorders are Non-Discriminatory

Eating disorders affect both men and women of all ages. Most but, not all eating disorder behavior begins in the younger age population.The general age of onset for Anorexia is 15, Bulimia is 16 and Binge Eating is 25. Frequently there are children as young as 8 and adults in their 60’s seeking treatment services for Anorexia. The same holds true for Binge Eating Disorder. Bulimia is a bit different in that it tends to affect middle teenager up through middle-aged adults.

Common traits of those affected by eating disorders include oversensitivity to change or chaos in their environments. They tend to react with extreme behavior and emotional expression when overwhelmed. Often their first reaction is out of impulse which can be presented from an odd nonreaction, excessive tearfulness, anger, yelling, or aggressive tones. Behaviorally they may withdraw from situations that are uncomfortable or attempt to “control” the circumstances in a “bullying” kind of manner. The important takeaway in observing the person is that they behave and react in extremes that are not necessarily congruent with the events at hand.

Those who struggle with eating disorders will develop some distinct medical complications and unique consequences related to the type of eating disorder, but they all but they share some similar features as well.

Those with Anorexia will often have a lower than reasonable body weight, rapid weight loss, complain of dizziness, move or exercise continuously, maintain a slow metabolism, suffer stress fractures, lose menses (for women,) have lower testosterone levels (for men) and appear somewhat fearful of various types of food.

Those with Bulimia will often complain of intestinal discomfort, experience frequent headaches and experience heart palpitations. They may also experience dental problems, experience irregular menses, and experience constipation.

Binge Eating is often but not always associated with obesity. For those individuals who are not obese, they will experience many of the same symptoms of Bulimia with a higher focus on the intestinal track discomfort. For those who are higher in weight due to the Binge Eating, they may experience, diabetic symptoms, knee and back problems, sleep apnea, Reflux, intestinal discomfort, thyroid problems and vast weight fluctuations due to attempting various “diet” plans.

How The Family Can Help

A common misconception that family members have is that their loved one need only “make a decision” to correct their relationship with food. They put pressure on their loved one by way of allowing a “special” meal plan that deviates from the family’s standard meal plans.

The family often attempts to use a form of logical conversations to encourage the person struggling to recognize their behavior is unusual. They may even attempt to use coercion and manipulation to force change. Though well intentioned, these tactics backfire more times than not. The best way to help is to seek support from a trained eating disorder specialist who can provide education on how best to approach the family member struggling with an eating disorder. But the family can provide valuable information on signs, symptoms, medical complications and they can help develop a comprehensive team of professionals to help. It will be important for a Primary Care Physician, Counselor, Psychiatrist and Registered Dietitian be involved so that each area of the sufferer’s life is assessed and supported by a subject matter expert.

Hope through Eating Disorder Recovery

Eating disorders are the most complicated psychological disorders to treat. Sadly, when untreated they also carry the highest mortality rate of any other disorder. Much like diabetes, when a person is struggling with any one of these eating disorders, it is imperative for their health, quality of life and in some cases their life’s longevity that they receive appropriate treatment as soon as possible. The benefits to comprehensive quality care will potentially create a life of purpose and hope once the psychological, behavioral and medical concerns are resolved.

At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, we believe wholeheartedly that people can heal from these disorders with proper care, training, and support. We encourage anyone who may be struggling with one of these disorders to take a very important step of courage to reach out for support from a treatment expert and begin a path of improving their quality of life and relationships.

Note: This article originally appeared in Together Arizona.

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By Noah Smith

Anxiety affects millions of Americans, and adults aren’t the only ones who live with it; children and teens struggle to cope with nervous conditions and mood disorders such as depression, too. For teenagers, anxiety can be difficult to cope with because it affects their performance at school, their relationships, and their social lives.

It’s important to talk to your teen about anxiety and how to handle it, because everyone reacts differently to its effects. Some may have a hard time being in public places, while others may worry about something that hasn’t happened yet. Talk to your child about how some worry and anxiety is normal, and how to train their brain to navigate the anxious thoughts when they come. It’s also important to talk to them about avoiding drugs and alcohol, which can make anxiety worse.

Here are some of the best tips on how to do so.

Encourage talk

Some parents fear that talking about their child’s anxieties will make them worse. It’s almost always better to engage in helpful conversation about their fears, so ask your teen to talk about what worries them the most. The important thing here is not to judge; no matter what their concerns are, let your teen know that it’s okay to have worries sometimes and talk about your own fears, especially ones you might have had when you were their age.

If your teen doesn’t feel comfortable having a conversation about it, encourage him to write down what makes her the most anxious. Keeping a journal is a great way to navigate anxiety and may help your child understand what she’s feeling.

Comfort your child

Sometimes, when trying to understand another person’s fears, it’s hard to comprehend or sympathize with. But no matter how you view your child’s worries, it’s important to let her know that you love her and that everything will be okay. Let her know that no matter how strongly she may feel sometimes, the anxiety will pass.

Do some research

If your child is battling anxiety, she may also be facing some physical effects and not even realize they are tied to her feelings. Some forms of anxiety can cause an individual to break out into a cold sweat, feel nauseous, or become jittery, and these can be mistaken for a physical ailment. If your child reports feeling these symptoms, it might be a good idea to set up a doctor’s appointment just to set both your minds at ease.

Learn about mindfulness

It may be helpful for your child to learn mindfulness, which can be achieved through a variety of activities including meditation, yoga, or art therapy. These things can all reduce stress and can help your child learn methods of positive thinking, which can help her circumvent anxious thoughts when they rear their ugly heads.

Sunflower at The Meadows

Sunflower at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona, is an inpatient program designed specifically for teen girls who are struggling with https://www.remudaranch.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">eating disorders and co-occurring conditions like depression, anxiety, and addiction. In a safe and nurturing environment, we provide individualized treatment to a small and intimate group of young women, helping them to change their self-destructive behaviors, heal their emotional trauma, improve their self-esteem, and build better relationships with family and friends. To learn more call 866-390-1500 or visit Sunflower.

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The practice of treating eating disorders has become more complicated in the last few years. Recent research has shown that a variety of factors can influence an individual’s development of an eating disorder.

We now know that there is a strong genetic component to eating disorders that makes individuals more vulnerable to the disease based on different temperaments and brain functions. We also know that there are many neurobiological factors that greatly influence the development of eating disorder behaviors and traits.

Co-occurring conditions such as trauma, mood disorders, substance misuse, and personality disorders are often present in many eating disorder patients. This complicates diagnosis, treatment, and treatment outcomes.

Eating disorder treatment teams are continually faced with the challenge of working with a more acute patient population, making a basic understanding of the diagnostics and functions of all types of eating disorders vital for the best possible treatment outcomes.

The annual International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (iaedp) Symposium, which kicks off this week (March 23 – 26) in Las Vegas, Nevada, gathers health experts from many different disciplines together to share the latest knowledge and research on eating disorder and treatment. Medical and behavioral health professionals discuss ways to broaden their understanding and get ideas for integrating new knowledge into better treatment experiences for eating disorder patients.

We consider it a tremendous honor and privilege to have two of our eating disorder experts from Remuda Ranch serve as presenters at the symposium and as leaders of the iaedp organization.

As an organization, iaedp develops educational opportunities and helps to establish a high level of competency for eating disorder professionals. It is the only organization that serves as the standard bearer for eating disorder professional certification.

The work of iaedp’s leaders and chapter members across the country helps to ensure that those struggling with eating disorders can receive the highest level of care and that therapists, dieticians, doctors, and nurses are trained to recognize the signs of eating disorders and help guide their patients to right treatment programs.

Our Remuda Ranch and iaedp Leaders

Buck Runyan, MS, LMFT, LPC, CEDS

James “Buck” Runyan has a long history with iaedp. He started the first iaedp chapter in Orange County, California in 2004 and went on to establish several more chapters from there. He has also served as President of iaedp and as a member of their board of directors. He currently sits on the iaedp advisory board.

For this year’s symposium, Buck rewrote spearheaded the redevelopment of the core certification courses offered to those who want to begin the process of becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS.)

He will be co-presenting the first certification workshop, Pre-certification Core Course 1 – Overview of Eating Disorders alongside Dr. Craig Johnson on Wednesday, March 22.

This workshop is designed as an introductory course in eating disorders. Participants will learn how to identify and diagnose eating disorders, gain an understanding of social and culture features of populations affected by eating disorders, and understand how neurobiological influences may factor into an individual’s likelihood of developing eating disorders.

Buck says that he’s looking forward to seeing his friend and colleagues at the symposium and to integrating some of the knowledge and ideas presented there into the Remuda Ranch program:

“This meeting is the largest gathering of thought leaders in eating disorder treatment in the world. Being able to teach alongside Dr. Craig Johnson and have conversations with other influencers like Phillip Mailer, Sondra Kronberg, and many others at the top of their fields is quite an honor. We also get to access some of the best clinical eating disorder education available anywhere in just one week’s time. I’m looking forward to using what I learn to help our Remuda Ranch team members continue to rise above the highest levels of professionalism and industry standards.”

Vicki Berkus, MD, Ph.D., CEDS

Dr. Berkus is currently the medical director for Brighthearthealth.com, a telemedicine IOP, and a Senior Fellow at Remuda Ranch at The Meadows. She has also served in many capacities within the iaedp organization and currently serves on the advisory board. She is a regularly featured speaker at iaedp events and conferences.

On Thursday, March 23 she’ll take part in a roundtable discussion at the iaedp Symposium titled "An Integrative Approach to the Psychological, Medical, and Nutritional Treatment of Eating Disorders in Special Populations."

Dr. Berkus will be stationed at Table 8, where participants will get a chance to talk with her about the physiology of eating disorders and integrative treatment.

The roundtable discussions aim to help reinforce the fact that, more than any other disorder, the treatment of eating disorders requires a multidisciplinary approach. Medical providers, psychotherapists, dieticians, nutritionists, body workers, practitioners of eastern medicines, coaches and trainers, sufferers, family members and more will benefit from will benefit from understanding the varied approaches of their multidisciplinary team members. At the same time, the eating disorder patient is a multifaceted, biopsychosocially developed human being with key aspects that are essential for providers to understand.

Visit us at Booth 51

Stop by our booth to learn more about treatment options available at Remuda Ranch at The Meadows and our exciting, newly enhanced programming for adolescent girls - Sunflower at The Meadows. Or, contact us today to learn why Remuda Ranch at The Meadows is the treatment choice for adolescent girls and women with eating disorders and co-occurring conditions. 866-331-5926.

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by Moriah Hvizdak

How can you accept your outsides if you hate the person inside? How can you care for the shell if you don’t care for the core first? This was my dilemma for so long. Slowly destroying my body as I turned my rage inward.

By the time I started recovering from my eating disorder and self-harm I could see no way that I could ever like myself, let alone love myself enough to stop hurting myself. It seemed impossible, but I knew that without at least some self-acceptance I would never be able to stay in recovery. I was absolutely hopeless until one evening, four weeks into a stay in residential treatment, I had a feeling that I hadn’t had in years. For one brief moment I felt hope.

Hope that maybe someday I could accept myself and be happy in a recovered body. That I’d be able to forgive myself and look in the mirror without hating every part of my being, inside and out. That was the turning point in my self-acceptance and in my entire recovery. I finally had the will to recover for myself instead of everyone else.

Throughout my stay in treatment that tiny spark of hope seemed to flicker in and out of existence, but I was determined to fan it into a fire that would help me burn away my self-hatred. It was very slow going at first. It took weeks for me to finally commit to stop all self-injurious behavior, and many more to fully forgive myself. I had to consciously make decisions that were the opposite of what I had been doing for so long.

When I felt like skipping a meal I had to eat, when I wanted to self-harm I had to stop myself. I could recognize when I was thinking negatively about myself or my body so I started taking the time to challenge those thoughts. Mirrors used to make me cry, but now I forced myself to look in them. Look myself in the eyes and give myself compliments.

Once I started caring for and loving my body I began to see it differently. I was amazed at how everything worked together. How I couldn’t accept and forgive myself when I was abusing my body, but without acceptance and forgiveness, I saw no reason to stop the abuse.

I know I’m not perfect but now I am able to embrace and accept my flaws. I automatically choose to speak to myself kindly and to care for my body. I see myself as strong, healthy, and beautiful though I have gained weight. That spark of hope has turned into a roaring fire. A will to live life to its fullest. And my body helps me do this.

Now instead of depriving myself of food, I use my senses to fully enjoy every mouthful. Instead of pushing my legs into running till I can’t anymore, I use them to ride my horse or take a walk in the woods. Instead of being hoarse from purging, I’m hoarse from singing all of my favorite songs. Instead of aching stomach muscles from sit ups, my muscles ache from laughing with my friends.

Before recovery I would not have believed that I could ever get to where I am now. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. So many tears and so much pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without rain, and the rainbow is definitely worth weathering the storm.

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By Ashley Martin, 2016 Remuda Alumna

“You are a liar. You tell me I am worthless, and unworthy. You say I am not worth fighting for. You tell me I am undesirable and unpleasant. According to you, I am ugly and overweight, incapable and broken.

You are a thief. You steal my happiness and my hope. You steal my motivation and my inspiration. You steal away my self-worth and my confidence.” It isn’t hard to remember how I felt when I wrote these words for the first time. Writing a goodbye letter to my eating disorder, I gave it everything I had, screaming at my eating disorder through words on paper rather than voice.

At eighteen years old, I was the youngest patient in the adult house during my stay at Remuda Ranch. At this age I had in my grasps the opportunity to live some of the most exciting and fulfilling adventures in my life. I had the chance to create memories – great ones. Stolen from me was the healthy body and sound mind I needed to live this free, adventurous life where I wasn’t enslaved by fear and self-hatred.

During treatment I somehow decided that recovery for my parents wasn’t good enough. Recovering for my boyfriend wasn’t good enough. Recovering for the doctors, and the nurses, and the other patients wasn’t good enough anymore. I had to recover for me. Although this wasn’t the moment where I began to radically accept myself and my body, it set off a huge and never-ending chain reaction.

This chain reaction is something I can now recognize as endless and on-going (even now) steps toward self-acceptance. I can identify day after day after day where I inched closer to loving myself again.

I see now that the day I began loving myself was the day that I flew home from treatment and said yes to a snack on the plane. I see that the day I began loving myself was the day I gave away my sick clothes. I recognize presently that I loved myself when I told my eating disorder “no” for the first time, and as well when I completed my meal plan one hundred percent for the first time after leaving treatment.

I loved myself a little more when I took a bubble bath just to feel good, and when I painted my nails after years of leaving them bare. The day I began loving myself was the day I suggested meeting a friend in town for dinner and didn’t have to ask for a to-go-box full of food I didn’t plan on eating later.

I began loving my body when I bought jeans that fit like a glove. I loved my body the day I started taking pictures of myself again and chose not to delete them. The day I started loving my body again was the day when I allowed it to invest time and energy into something that wasn’t destructive, but rather productive and enjoyable.

I am learning to celebrate my appearance. It has been eight months since I left treatment, and I can say with certainty that I have made progress in loving my body. What I see in the mirror when I wake up no longer determines whether a day will be good or bad. Observing this truth in my own life not only encourages me, but drives me to make further progress in recovery.

“I want to hate you, and I am close.” These were the last words on the final page of the letter I wrote to my eating disorder. I found difficulty in that moment. I tried to express to this mental illness of mine that although it has tricked my mind into captivity, and taught me to love it, crave it, and rely it in some dark and twisted way, that I was almost ready to let go. Furthermore, I was learning why and how to let go. Treatment taught me to recognize the amount of destruction that was falling down on my life as a result of holding onto something that was no good for me. Once I began to make this connection, I also began the process of ignoring my eating disorder’s voice and loving my body again.

This process of self-acceptance carries on even now – eight months after treatment. For me, there wasn’t a giant and unbelievably obvious over-the-top aha-moment. There wasn’t a fanfare or a bright light. Instead, accompanied by a lot of effort and hard work, there have been identifiable moments in time which I can look back and see how I progressed further on the journey to loving myself.

I am closer than I have ever been to accepting my body for what it is, and it is this acceptance that I wish for everyone who is struggling and has struggled with an eating disorder in their lifetime.

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By Hailey Meyer

Eating disorders are about so much more than physical appearance or a desire to lose weight. They are about fear, feelings of inadequacy, crippling anxiety, and an overpowering voice in your head constantly telling you you're not good enough.

An eating disorder is a quest for a sense of control when the rest of your life feels out of control. For me, it became a safety net, a comfort zone, and an escape from the stress and anxiety that school brought on. I operated under the delusion that if I shifted all my energy and focus to trying to control something tangible—pounds lost, miles run, calories consumed—then, that sense of control would somehow translate into other areas of my life as well.

I'm now able to recognize just how illogical that sounds, but for someone in the trenches of an eating disorder, it feels very real. The reality, though, is that no amount of weight loss was ever going to be enough, because the key to my problems couldn't be found through self-deprivation or the pursuit of a different body.

Eating Disorder Mindsets

Up until about eight months ago, I spent the past couple of years cycling through this series of various mindsets, sometimes all in the same day:

Denial that I had a problem.

Recognizing that I had a problem, but believing I wasn't “sick enough” to need help. I was also fully convinced that I would either figure it out on my own or simply grow out of it.

Wanting to get better, but being too afraid to fully let go of what I perceived to be control.

Committing (halfway) to recovery, but refusal to do anything beyond gaining the minimum amount of weight required to put me into a 'healthy' weight range. This typically led me right back to step two, because I neglected to acknowledge that eating disorders are mental illnesses that just-so-happen to have physical manifestations. Attending to the physical component doesn't do much good in the long-term if the underlying issues that led to that point go unaddressed.

Looking back at photos makes me sad. When I was in my eating disorder, I was constantly cold, tired, insecure, and generally apathetic. I was unable to think clearly or rationally. I was frustrated and ashamed that I couldn't just get myself to eat; just gain the weight; just get over it. At my worst, I was reduced to a shell of my former self, both physically and mentally.

Good Days and Bad Days

Eating disorders, like all mental illnesses, seep into all aspects of life. It distanced me from myself and others, preoccupied my every thought, jeopardized my health, and diminished the quality and meaning of almost everything I did. What I thought I was controlling was really controlling me. I truly felt powerless to stop, yet I would push away anything and anyone that threatened to break my rigid routine.

Now, after many difficult months, most days are good. Most days, I don't feel the need to numb myself from whatever emotion I'm feeling, good or bad. (Contrary to my former belief, my anxiety won't actually kill me and it WILL eventually pass!) Most days, I can eat without being consumed by regret and guilt. Most days, I am able to appreciate everything recovery has given me. I have energy, my *purrrsonality*, and my happiness back. I am able to be fully present and engaged in my own life instead of operating on autopilot, and the things that are truly important to me no longer have to take a backseat to my eating disorder.

But some days, like today, I have to take a step back and remind myself of how far I've come and how much I've learned about myself in the process. While the distance between these days on the struggle bus is becoming increasingly longer, sometimes the temptation to revert back to my old habits is as strong as ever.

I'm still learning to let go of the need for control and to embrace change and uncertainty. I'm still learning that there are no prerequisites that have to be met in order to be “deserving” of adequate nourishment. I'm still learning to accept that trying to hang on to as many pieces of the eating disorder as possible while still maintaining a relatively normal life is NOT true recovery. I'm still learning that self-criticism does not cultivate self-acceptance, and that it's not possible to hate yourself into a version of yourself you can love.

I think this kind of ambivalence is, to some extent, natural. I don't think it'll ever feel unequivocally awesome to regain weight, but as long as I keep my why at the forefront of my mind, it is bearable. At some point, I hope it's no longer about just being bearable, but that it stops mattering altogether.

The biggest difference is that now, even on the difficult days, I can say with confidence that I will continue to choose recovery over and over again until it's no longer something that requires my conscious effort. Rather than judging myself for still struggling after this long, I'm practicing a little self-compassion and accepting where I am at present. I'm not yet where I hope to be, but for once I'm able to say, and genuinely believe, that IT. IS. OKAY.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. For now, I will relish the good moments that are filled with peace, growth, self-acceptance, and gratitude for another day of health and happiness. ('Cuz let's be honest, eating real donuts is a lot more enjoyable than holding a donut float while dreaming about the donut I'd never let myself eat!)

End the Stigma

Mental health is equally as important as physical health. One in five U.S. adults suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder. So, let's start talking about it and help #endthestigma. No matter what you're going through, you are not alone and you don't have to suffer in silence. It is okay to not be okay, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness!

I'm not gonna lie, it has taken me a long time to gain (and maintain) the weight and it certainly hasn't been easy, but with the support of some pretty great (and incredibly patient) peeps, an awesome treatment team, and a whole lotta yoga, I did it. I am happier and healthier than I've been in such a long time, and I'm finally at a point where I'm no longer ashamed of my struggle or to admit that I couldn't have gotten here on my own.

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