Remuda Ranch Eating Disorders Treatment Programs

By Hailey Meyer

Eating disorders are about so much more than physical appearance or a desire to lose weight. They are about fear, feelings of inadequacy, crippling anxiety, and an overpowering voice in your head constantly telling you you're not good enough.

An eating disorder is a quest for a sense of control when the rest of your life feels out of control. For me, it became a safety net, a comfort zone, and an escape from the stress and anxiety that school brought on. I operated under the delusion that if I shifted all my energy and focus to trying to control something tangible—pounds lost, miles run, calories consumed—then, that sense of control would somehow translate into other areas of my life as well.

I'm now able to recognize just how illogical that sounds, but for someone in the trenches of an eating disorder, it feels very real. The reality, though, is that no amount of weight loss was ever going to be enough, because the key to my problems couldn't be found through self-deprivation or the pursuit of a different body.

Eating Disorder Mindsets

Up until about eight months ago, I spent the past couple of years cycling through this series of various mindsets, sometimes all in the same day:

Denial that I had a problem.

Recognizing that I had a problem, but believing I wasn't “sick enough” to need help. I was also fully convinced that I would either figure it out on my own or simply grow out of it.

Wanting to get better, but being too afraid to fully let go of what I perceived to be control.

Committing (halfway) to recovery, but refusal to do anything beyond gaining the minimum amount of weight required to put me into a 'healthy' weight range. This typically led me right back to step two, because I neglected to acknowledge that eating disorders are mental illnesses that just-so-happen to have physical manifestations. Attending to the physical component doesn't do much good in the long-term if the underlying issues that led to that point go unaddressed.

Looking back at photos makes me sad. When I was in my eating disorder, I was constantly cold, tired, insecure, and generally apathetic. I was unable to think clearly or rationally. I was frustrated and ashamed that I couldn't just get myself to eat; just gain the weight; just get over it. At my worst, I was reduced to a shell of my former self, both physically and mentally.

Good Days and Bad Days

Eating disorders, like all mental illnesses, seep into all aspects of life. It distanced me from myself and others, preoccupied my every thought, jeopardized my health, and diminished the quality and meaning of almost everything I did. What I thought I was controlling was really controlling me. I truly felt powerless to stop, yet I would push away anything and anyone that threatened to break my rigid routine.

Now, after many difficult months, most days are good. Most days, I don't feel the need to numb myself from whatever emotion I'm feeling, good or bad. (Contrary to my former belief, my anxiety won't actually kill me and it WILL eventually pass!) Most days, I can eat without being consumed by regret and guilt. Most days, I am able to appreciate everything recovery has given me. I have energy, my *purrrsonality*, and my happiness back. I am able to be fully present and engaged in my own life instead of operating on autopilot, and the things that are truly important to me no longer have to take a backseat to my eating disorder.

But some days, like today, I have to take a step back and remind myself of how far I've come and how much I've learned about myself in the process. While the distance between these days on the struggle bus is becoming increasingly longer, sometimes the temptation to revert back to my old habits is as strong as ever.

I'm still learning to let go of the need for control and to embrace change and uncertainty. I'm still learning that there are no prerequisites that have to be met in order to be “deserving” of adequate nourishment. I'm still learning to accept that trying to hang on to as many pieces of the eating disorder as possible while still maintaining a relatively normal life is NOT true recovery. I'm still learning that self-criticism does not cultivate self-acceptance, and that it's not possible to hate yourself into a version of yourself you can love.

I think this kind of ambivalence is, to some extent, natural. I don't think it'll ever feel unequivocally awesome to regain weight, but as long as I keep my why at the forefront of my mind, it is bearable. At some point, I hope it's no longer about just being bearable, but that it stops mattering altogether.

The biggest difference is that now, even on the difficult days, I can say with confidence that I will continue to choose recovery over and over again until it's no longer something that requires my conscious effort. Rather than judging myself for still struggling after this long, I'm practicing a little self-compassion and accepting where I am at present. I'm not yet where I hope to be, but for once I'm able to say, and genuinely believe, that IT. IS. OKAY.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. For now, I will relish the good moments that are filled with peace, growth, self-acceptance, and gratitude for another day of health and happiness. ('Cuz let's be honest, eating real donuts is a lot more enjoyable than holding a donut float while dreaming about the donut I'd never let myself eat!)

End the Stigma

Mental health is equally as important as physical health. One in five U.S. adults suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder. So, let's start talking about it and help #endthestigma. No matter what you're going through, you are not alone and you don't have to suffer in silence. It is okay to not be okay, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness!

I'm not gonna lie, it has taken me a long time to gain (and maintain) the weight and it certainly hasn't been easy, but with the support of some pretty great (and incredibly patient) peeps, an awesome treatment team, and a whole lotta yoga, I did it. I am happier and healthier than I've been in such a long time, and I'm finally at a point where I'm no longer ashamed of my struggle or to admit that I couldn't have gotten here on my own.

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The moment when you recognize your eating behaviors have gotten out of control can be followed by intense fear and uncertainty. Will I need treatment? Where will I go? What will happen during treatment?

The first thing you should do is choose to be hopeful, and choose recovery. There are effective treatments for eating disorders. Talk to a trusted friend or family member and seek help from a healthcare professional or facility that specializes in eating disorders.

Right now, you might wonder how you could ever change. What could happen during treatment that would allow you to let go of the unhealthy behaviors you’ve held onto for so long?

Here are 18 things that you will learn in eating disorder recovery, to help you let go of dangerous eating behaviors and start building a healthy, happy life:

Acknowledge that your behavior is harmful and will negatively affect your life now and in the future if you do not choose to change.

Identify your feelings and internal messages before, during, and after you binge, purge, or restrict.

Identify what triggers you to binge, purge, or restrict.

Focus on the present rather than the past, and on the positive aspects of your life.

Take time to nurture yourself in ways that have nothing to do with food or your eating disorder behaviors (a walk, movie, hot bath, etc.).

Enjoy your body. Choose physical activities for fun rather than weight loss, such as dancing, stretching, and swimming.

Take responsibility for changing your behaviors.

Work toward the point where weight is no longer something by which you rate your success.

Think about your accomplishments, positive personal qualities, and valued relationships, and affirm yourself for these things.

Identify goals and activities you have been putting off until you’re “thin.”

Set small goals that you can accomplish easily, and congratulate yourself for every success.

Explore any ambivalence about giving up old habits and your fear of living without them. Take the risk to try new behaviors, without being certain of the outcome.

Recognize your personal rights. You have the right to say “no,” to express your feelings and opinions and to ask to have your needs met.

Find a growth-oriented, non-judgmental community of relationships, such as a church, support group, or appropriate 12-step group.

Keep a journal of your experiences, feelings, thoughts, and insights. This is a safe place to be honest with yourself. The journal is for your eyes only: no one else will be reading it or judging it. The journal can also help you identify the feelings, internal messages, and triggers that lead to your eating disorder behavior, so that you may prepare yourself to choose alternate strategies.

Don’t let the scale run your life. Remember that numbers on a scale are not a value judgment of self-worth. Throw the scale away.

Let go of fault-finding, blame, guilt, and shame. Focus on the present, and take responsibility for what you can change today.

Understand that shame and guilt often lead to eating disorder behavior, and eating disorder behavior then leads to more shame and guilt, creating a vicious cycle that can be broken.

How We Can Help

Remuda Ranch at The Meadows offers customized, comprehensive treatment programs for women and girls with eating disorders, designed to help heal the mind body and spirit. We take pride in our…

Experienced, multidisciplinary staff: Treatment is led by dedicated doctors, psychologists, dieticians, and nurses who help patients achieve medical stabilization and support them through the stages of recovery.

Comprehensive care: We can stabilize women and adolescents with an acute eating disorder, and help them progress in our program to residential and partial levels of care.

Experts: Our leadership team has extensive experience in the field and are involved in daily operations, ensuring that each patient receives the help she needs.

Family Program: Our staff incorporates the patient’s family into the healing process through weekly webinars and an onsite Family Week.

Spiritual approach: Mindfulness activities and life skills are incorporated into the recovery process. Christian focused and 12-step focused tracks are available.

Healing atmosphere: Our facilities are located on a ranch in the beautiful Sonoran desert, and are designed with patient’s comfort and healing in mind.

Discovery and ownership: We work with patients to confront their issues in a positive manner in order for them to develop a sense of their true potential, allowing them to take responsibility for their lives.

For more information, reach out to one of our Intake Specialists today at 866-390-1500 or send us an email.

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This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. In a special section of USA Today, National Eating Disorder Association CEO Claire Mysko advocates for awareness and action:

“It’s time to take action and fight for change. We need to take eating disorders as seriously as other public health concerns. Let’s bust the myths and get the facts. It’s time to shatter the stigma and increase access to care. It’s time to talk about it.”

Many people don’t realize that eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia are life-threatening conditions that can cause devastating physical and emotional damages. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental health disorder.

You can be a beacon of hope for those struggling with these illnesses. Share this article and other factual information about eating disorders with your social media friends and followers this week. You just might save a life.

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By Vicki Berkus M.D., Ph.D., CEDS, Remuda Ranch Medical Advisor

People who are struggling with their eating disorders (ED) and refusing to cooperate in treatment often need rewards they can work toward. Being in treatment would be hard for anyone; but, it’s especially hard for adolescents and for those who don’t yet have coping skills or a mind that’s fed well enough to fully function.

Privileges as Rewards

To encourage patients to follow their treatment plans, most programs use levels of activity as rewards. Anything that patients tend to look forward to–going on outings, going to a movie, more exercise time, eating somewhere other than the treatment group table for a meal—can serve as motivation for patients to adhere to their treatment regimens.

I used to be stopped in the hall by my patients with requests. “Can I _________?” they would say. They couldn’t help themselves. The idea that their entire treatment team would have to make the decision, not just me, was not in their thoughts at the moment of the request.

I decided to come up with a system that would help them know exactly what they needed to do to earn one of the privileges they wanted.

Actions Replace Words

I would have patients fill out a “request sheet” every Monday. On the sheet they were asked to write down what they wanted to do most at the end of the week – exercise more, go on an outing, etc. They also would have to write down what would be required for them to be allowed to do what they asked. (e.g., eating 100 percent for the three days prior to the activity, or not needing to be reminded to limit their movement when sitting.)

Depending on each patient’s need, the clinical team would either set the criteria for them or the patient would sit with the therapist to develop the criteria. Either way, the patient knew and agreed upon exactly what they needed to do on their part to get the added perks.

I was amazed at how quickly their behavior changed. Instead of finding me and putting a lot of energy into “making their case,” they would get excited for the change and for the challenge of meeting their goals. They would then hear from the clinical team by Thursday what the weekend would look like in terms of activities and changes.

It sounds simple but ED patients are adept at holding onto the yardstick that compares their peers’ eating disorder behaviors to their own. The ability to put on “emotional blinders” and focus on their treatment is just not in their skill set in the beginning of treatment. Having structured reward systems help them to achieve that focus.

A Team Approach

It is important for treatment teams to be consistent with patients and for each team member to be fully up to date on the latest information about their behavior and their risks. Patients need to know that the team members have access to their daily behaviors including, meal consumption, fluid consumption or daily weights. They also need our united front on the decisions we make that have such a significant impact on them during their treatment.

At Remuda Ranch at The Meadows, we use a consistent team approach every day and work with each person individually based on their strengths. With the support of our teams, our patients achieve much greater success toward their recovery.

If you would like to find out more about Remuda Ranch, please call 866-390-5100 or contact us.

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